What do I do? Hello Dustin, Seem's quite disrespectful for her to say she has options with a "sugar daddy" seems to me she has a lot of control of this relationship.
I would have to get more information on your current situation in order to give you exact advice. What I would recommend is that you do give her space but also focus on the ways your not being respected. To book a coaching session visit the top of this page and click private coaching. I had been with my girlfriend for 3. Things were going great and she proposed to me but I wasn't ready yet and I said yes.
I did promise her one day she would be my wife and as time went on I was failing to recognize her signs of our relationship failing. She suggested that I read the 5 love languages to get a better understanding why her tank was empty and I thought it was dumb so I didn't do it. We knew our relationship needed work and she took on a job out of state and I finally agreed I would move down there because I didn't want to lose her. She stated that when I come down we needed to go to relationship counseling and I agreed to it.
I have done all I can do as of now to show her that I do appreciate her and how sorry I was that I let our relationship slide when I was the one at fault because I let drinking get in the way and I am doing everything I can quiting drinking, read the book and seeing a relationship counselor.
The worst is here, I have accepted that there's a good chance she will never call me again but I had plans to move to her city anyway while keeping distance because if there's a chance, I wanted to be there. She means everything to me but I dont know what my next step is or what it should be Hello Chris, I can't tell you if there is another chance as I cannot predict the future. I know it's hard but I believe stepping back and giving her space to figure things out will help her and you. If she comes back just showcase your change with actions instead of words.
This is a less serious relationship question as I've only been seeing this girl for almost 3 months. In this three months though, we've really connected and have gone on countless dates and two short weekend trips together.
We recently went on a quick trip together and I noticed she started to get a bit snippy with me and could tell she was easily irritated. After the trip I could tell she wasn't thrilled about being around me at that moment. Picking up on this the following day or so I asked her if we were "Ok and if she was withdrawing" and she stated "Yes, I am withdrawing, I've also been busy.
However, I need some space. I feel like I've been spending too much of my free time with you, and I just need some space right now. Nothing against you. She needs time to miss me. She stated she needed time to refocus. She felt shes been checking out and getting annoyed with me and she thinks its from a mental disconnect because of how often we see each other.
I agreed with her that we have been spending a bit too much time together too soon and agreed we should back off on how much time we spend together. From all of this she's reached out to me once about a second job she got - I congratulated her and left it at that.
I'm going to continue to give her space and not text her or call her and let her engage with me if she wants. As much as we were connected everyday, are these the right things I should be doing? I have very strong feelings for her and invested so much in getting to know her and felt we were getting super close until this. Hello David, Thanks for your comment! Yes, you're doing the right thing. Let her initiate things with you moving forward. She has to miss you and she gave you the answer.
Also, start to do things that will keep you busy during this time. Hi there, I enjoyed the article that you wrote. Gave me some ideas to try. I have been together with my gf for about 6 months. The last 2 months or so have been very hard. See she is working full time, taking 2 classes and has a young one to watch after She still Lives at Home. When she started taking her classes things changed dramitcally.
I barely get to see her if any at all. We still do the good morning texts to each other. I expressed to her about not showing affection and the fact that I never hardly get to see her. I do not get included in things anymore. She tells me she loves me but not have once asked for space. I do not text her constantly I only text her to see if she wants to do something or a reply to her texts. It is hard on me right now because I have no social life. No friends, hardly any family etc. So i have not been happy and been depressed.
I am worried that i am pushing her away with this. Hello Bradley, The best thing that you can do to not push her away is improve your social life. You doing this will ruin the relationship. This makes the attraction level very low in the relationship. That is what's going on here. You cannot depend on her or this relationship to make you happier so if you want this to work I would suggest two things. Start your social life. Get involved in activities to meet people and go to the gym etc.
Let her start to initiate hanging out with you. Hello, my girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months and we have had up's and down's during the first few months, but definitely been happy. My GF has cancer and depression and we "took" a break before. She has told me that I have been jealous though I don't see how , clingy and becoming dependent on her. The reason why I am around her all the time is to make sure she is fine. She wanted to talk in person and wanted to come to an understanding, but I have not heard from her since Saturday and it's now Monday.
My friend's have said to leave her alone and have her reach out, but my anxiety is coming out and I really want to reach out. What should I do? Nate, Thanks for your comment! You should not reach out right now. If you are having anxiety towards the situation it does show some attachment and clinginess. I would work through this feeling that you have as this can push her away. I'm sorry she's sick and I know this is incredibly hard. She does not want to feel suffocated as she feels this enough with her sickness.
So, the best thing you can do is focus on you and do things that make you happy, surround yourself around people that make you happy and wait for her to reach out. Do not overly communicate that you miss her and put too much pressure for her not reaching out.
Hello, I've been in a relationship with her for about 4 years and a month to date. She had a mishap and had to move in with me due to losing her house and then just literally yesterday lost her job. During her stay I had lost my job as well but got another one within a few weeks and had CPS notified due to slandering but was cleared up so I was stressed as well.
When I got home last night from a minor mishap, she took her kids and some of her belongings with them and I didn't know. She blocked me from various social media and her phone. I finally got through to her and we texted.
This is what she said verbatim from and exerpt of our texts:. An it's gone be hard for me too cuz I already want to run back but it's just not healthy for me right now I need time an u do too we both need space for how ever long it take to get all the way back to where we are happy an comfortable on both sides I mean all the way good.
But this is the first day I hate to be the person that have e to demand it since I am always the one that do it but good know we need it. Is this a good sign? She had already unblocked me from her phone and texted me today but I am wanting to back off for a few days to a week then subtly text my way back in. What should I do and how can I decipher what she is saying in that exerpt? Hello Jayshawn, Well, you're missing the key element from all of this.
You are just focused on contacting her and the next time you will talk to her which is going to set you up for failure since there needs to be change.
A woman does not say "you cloud my mind that I can't focus" for no reason. That is where the issue lies in that relationship. So I ask you to ask yourself what are you doing that is making her feel like this? Was it fighting, being overbearing. That is the first thing. Secondly, she is mentioning that this relationship is not healthy. So instead of focusing on her, you need to focus on the relationship itself and getting back to the healthy you. If you don't you will push her away or end up back here again after a couple of months.
If you would like some more tailored advice to help you with your situation I'm here. Please book a coaching session and I will help as much as possible. Wishing you the best! Hello Leo, You are wrong about the last part. Spending time together will not make a person always fall more especially if it's not reciprocated. I would challenge you to take space from this relationship. There is something going on in the relationship when it comes to attraction.
I recommend you to read this blog and share your comments after if you have questions as I know this can help. Balance your emotions out and find some happiness in the process of you being alone.
If this woman cares for you she will naturally come back. Try switching the dynamic of the relationship. I have been in love with this girlfriend of mine. I love her and I cant stand losing her.
Hi Thomas, Thanks for reading this article about she says she needs space. My question is why does she call you a bad person? What is behind this? I have t talked to her in 5 days and feel as if she moved on, I feel this way because she unfollowed me on different social media websites.
Please let me know what options I should take. Thank you. Hello ma'am. I am Deepak from India. My GF and i have completed 3 years on sept She didn't remember that.
We fought over it. I said many things to her. That were not from my heart. I really hurted her. We didn't talk for 2 days. Then after 2 days she said i need space. She said i need to get some time for her. It has been 2 months since that incident. She talks with me we are in the same class in college. But i felt that she doesn't have any feelings for me.
She said she needs space. I am enjoying my life but whenever she posts anything on social media i get upset. My heartbeat gets high when i see her online. What should i do mam. It's very painful. Hello mam My GF and I have been together for 3 years. It was our 3rd anniversary. She didn't remember and she never remembers even my birthday. I scolded her alot. I really hurt her alot. I know did wrong at that time.
We didn't talk with each other for another two days. On third day she said she don't want to be with me. I said sorry i scolded you. I asked her that why don't you remember all these days.
She said she can't remember them because they are being forcefully applied on her. Next i said i am really very sorry. She said i need space for a while. I said okay. She has been talking with me for 2 months but i can't find that girl who i loved. She is my classmate and now the exams are over. We are at our homes. I am enjoying my life and giving her space. I am improving myself. But the problem is whenever i see her online or whenever she posts and story or pic i feel pain inside me. It is very painful mam.
Please reply???? Hello Deepak, I would suggest for you not to look at her stories. Separations are hard and the pain heals over time.
But the thing you have to not do is influence the pain by looking at her stories. She will also notice that you are not viewing her stories which will get her to think about you and what you're doing. Hope that helps! I read a lot of your blogs and I have a question. Im extrovert so I need to ask about this a good soul :. We meet in club, we kiss and the next day we though to get some coffee and wine.
This day was magic, a lot of emotions to the night, after this day, she send me a message: "I want you to stay with me everytime" Our "relation" was for only 2 months, but we have long trips, sex and good mood.
Sometimes she was jealous, offended etc but she is 20, maybe thats why. After last trip, not good weather, rain etc, we had some fights but after all she was happy. In the last day, I was trying to kiss her but she said "I need some space, few days" I was like ok. After 3 days I call her to meet on coffee and talk about us, she said "I think there is nothing anymore" I was like wtf, whats goin on.
We had another event booked but after this words I got my best female friend to come with me, we had a good party with good mood - I needed it. I post some photos and after this party I send a msg to my "ex or friend idk how to call her after 2 month ". She answer "have a fun with new girlfriend". I was trying to explain that she is only my best friend.
After that she deleted all my profil from social media, commentaries etc. Right now we have 3 weeks after no contact, we live in same city, we have same parties every weekend in clubs. I saw her last weekend, have conversation with her friends but not with her my bad maybe I was suppose to say hello only. I know that she trying to get somebody from tinder, I saw photos from her date 2 days ago.
She still checking my stories. We had plans, trips, etc. Can u help me with that? Hi Max, Yes, just talk to her. She needs more convincing. At the age of 20 there is a lot of insecurities and I believe if you just let her know she will understand. Try reaching out now since some time has passed.
Good luck! Hello Apollonia , I hope you're doing great , i want to thank you first for all the work and advises you share with us ,you are truly a blessing. I hope i get some advises from you to deal with this because she is the girl of my dreams ,.
Hello Paul, The key here is finding the value that you offer her and not having to make up for the things that YOU think you may "lack".
Look at yourself as a man of pride, dignity, and respect and focus on rebuilding your confidence. Your faith is important to you and she knows that, but this does not mean that she has to take your energy for you to prove that you're good enough for her. You have to understand you already are. Once you change that mindset and gain more confidence that will change the dynamics of the relationship. I would encourage you to invest in my master your confidence audio seminar on my product page.
Hello Apollonia. I want to thank you for this tips. Today my girlfriend told me to that she "needs space" in order to breath. So I gave her the space that she needs. She told me that she wont leave me, just give her the time to breath. She gave me a time frame of 1 week up to 1 month. I am willing to wait for her because I want her in my life but what should I do? Should I text her after 1 week?
I am thinking that if i will not text her, she might take it as if i don't care anymore about her. If she asked for space I would recommend you giving it to her and not texting her. It seems as though you may be too needy and attached and this is why she asked for space.
Why did she ask for space? When a woman tells you she needs space, dump her. She's not worth your time. If you have shown her that you can be a good provider, a kind listener, and a partner who lovingly wants to support her in her life, and she doesn't recognize how good you would be for her in her life, then she's too bloody stupid to be wasting your time with.
Don't spend another second on this imbecile, move on and you will find a woman who sees your goodness and will appreciate you in her life A few months ago I met this girl and right off the bat we hit it off.
I was able to open up to her and she was doing the same with me. Things moved so fast in the beginning weeks that we were spending just about every waking moment together. During this time frame she did meet a guy and they have gone on a few dates together. Her and I had a heart to heart convo the other day and it eventually led to both of us unsure of what we both wanted in the relationship now.
I like the girl a lot, have been there for her and she has been there for me. Hi John, That's unfortunate that there is another man. My question is why did you continue dating her if there was another man? It's important that you stand to respect yourself and the same vice versa. As of right now, back away, give her the space she needs and figure out why you want to give attention to a woman that has her eye on another man. Next time you speak to her I would strongly suggest for you to say something like " I enjoy being with you and spending time with you, but with another man in the picture is not respectful to me and I won't allow myself to continue this if you are dating the both of us.
From Wednesday we did not talk. What should i do? Hello Anthony, I encourage you to book a session with me as I would have to know the many things that go wrong in the relationship in order to give you tailored advice.
I know this is hard but I am sure if you give her space and focus on you it will help. You can book a session here. A week before our anniversary she said she neeeded some space to work out who she is as a person and what she wants to be in her life. Please help. Hello TJ, It seems like there is a big sense of control here.
What made her think differently about the relationship was when she felt that you would not support her in her personal growth. I think it's important that you show her you want to support her when it comes to life things. I would encourage you to book a session so I can help give you tailored advice.
Dear Apollonia, I've dated her since January. Since mid year. It was clear we wanted the relationship to lead to marriage. Her attitude changed a lot and she says mine changed too. Somehow after arguing , we apologize and get back. I really do love her and she always says same too. We had our introduction late November and surprisingly, after a late night phone argumen was calling her and she was on a call for so long that unlike her, she will cut or call me back but she didn't, I was crossed.
Thought it was a huge joke. Its a month gone now and I feel deeply pained. Tried reaching out to her, hung out once, went for a function together, plead with her, called, texted but she still insists I respect her wish and give her a break. I finally agreed to give her a break last week. Dunno what's going on or what next to do.
So damn worried. Pls advice and help on how to approach this and win her affection back again. Hey there ive been really interested in a girl at my university and i found out recently she was interested in me, so we decided to go out with each other we spend time together in uni and i spent time with her at her place and had a great night.
The next day she says she isnt sure how she feels it isnt the best time for her she says she needs to focus on herself. The ugliest stories were about being ousted by a group of friends in middle school or high school.
And it haunted not only the ejected but also the ejectors. For example, a woman, Annie, said she still feels regret and shame for not speaking up when, in tenth grade, her entire friends group turned on one member. And we had been very, very close friends. For example, a woman, Linda, said she had let a friend stay with her for what was supposed to be a brief time. As the days became weeks and then months, she finally asked the friend to leave. Instead of thanking her for months of hospitality, the friend exploded in anger.
Even when a cutoff is traced to a single outrageous thing said or done, that supremely tellable violation usually caps frustrations that had been mounting over time. She was a hoot, and great to be around.
And the same fear is part of why it is so painful to be ghosted. Why cut someone off without saying why? Many of us find it hard to say anything negative outright, so we swallow our hurt—until it chokes us. It's the same thing that guys do, too. A woman will still act interested because the guy was feeding her ego, making her feel good about herself. So while a girl is out dating other guys, she will still talk to the guy that she friend zoned because the friendzone guy was complimenting her a lot and trying to PROVE that he was good enough..
It's an ego boost. Men will do the same thing with a woman that he's not interested in similar to hooking up with someone you don't want to date.. Compliments feel nice. If someone compliments you, you like it, you want more of it. Doesn't mean you want to date the person. Hope this helps. If you're still confused, then I would suggest booking a private session. Wishing you the absolute best, Apollonia. Hie apollonia! Thanks for this information.
I really had no Idea of what happens. I proposed a classmate and she rejected me but she always sticks to me and always say she wants me to be happy. We sometimes flirt but if I tell her again about how I feel, she always say she does not want to here that. I was so frustrated and I decided stop talking to her but with this information, I now know what to do and if any additional information is available you can share again. Nice to hear we have been able to help ,always here when you need us.
So a few years back I met a girl. From the start it hit me like lightning. But when it comes to flirting? So I thought she was just trying to be a leader so I didnt think anything of it. One day I saw her in the parking lot. She was talking with a guy. So I thought maybe she did like me back. I saw she left a pin on my desk that had the same message that she used to compliment me. So I asked if she gave it to me?
She was over the top denying it. Like it was comical. So one day I wore it. When she saw it, she turned bright red again.
I got her a Christmas gift, she was so upset at me. In fact I was getting a lot of hot and cold from her. Around this time I realized her friends were making contact with me. Always super nice. But recently I had let one of her friends know that I knew. She then tells me thst she is just ultra shy and struggles. So recently she left my hospital and she went to another job. It was weird that they all started avoiding me. Again with the hot and cold. So what do you think?
Are they just all making fun of me? Or does she actually like me. Also how can I make contact with her? I would need more on your advice concerning my relationship with a lady that Irelly love, and we have been in a relationship for almost 3years now, but it happened several times, almost like four times now that she is in a relationship with me but later on she told me that she has found another guy where her feelings are highly on him, this became a challenge to me and I had to fight for my relationship untill I managed solve the issue out, this happened 3times where Everytime she had feelings on different guys, though such things were happening Iwas able to sort issues and we continue with our relationship as normal.
This this time around after like 3months now this year June ,the same issue has just happen again and she has told me that her feelings are on another guy which is totally different from the other guys before, and she's telling me that she loves me but her feelings are not on me, so I should let her go, though I've been trying to do so but I find it too difficult where it ha s take me almost a month now since the beginning of June ,and the bad part of it is that we are far from each other coz she's in university in another region and I also in another region though before we were togather before she went to the university, it has been 1year now.
So plz I need ur adivise, coz I've tried everything I could do but no success. Hi Adamas, Thank you for reading our blog and We are sorry to hear what you are going through. We would highly recommend subscribing to our youtube channel if you haven't already, you'll be able to find a lot of valuable information. Best, Apollonia's team. Really interesting article. A co-worker of mine and I got very close prior to the currently C lockdown, and throughout the first few months of the lockdown period we were having what you may class as an 'emotional affair'.
We got close because she confided in me about her relationship and during lockdown i helped her as she decided to move on from that - which was a huge decision for her. We grew really close, spoke about many things and found every way possible to meet up. When we did meet the feeling between us was electric like nothing I've ever experienced. We could talk for hours about nothing and cry on each others shoulders without hesitation.
We even went out on her birthday - i skipped work and made excuses - it was a great day just 6 weeks ago now. Now, i don't dispute this - she is out of a relationship - but we were closer when she was in her relationship than out of it.
As soon as she moved out and in with a friend, i felt pushed away. This wouldn't be so difficult but before this we were great friends and colleagues. She says she's never had a bond like this with anyone, and seems to want her cake and to eat it - not only with me but her ex. Over the past couple of weeks I've gone through some really bad personal issues with a bereavement within the family. I thought this would at least show her to be the friend i needed. I have to say i was a bit disappointed with her reaction and compassion.
I had spoken to her, messaged her, stayed up to all hours comforting her, but when i needed it i could see she was online but ignoring me. I don't want to feel played, but i do. I haven't messaged her out of work since Thursday last week - she hasn't either. I will see her at work on Friday, and we are due to have some works drinks in a couple of weeks' time.
I don't know how to play this with her anymore. As i said i don't want to think I've been 'used' by her and I've completely misjudged her character, but i can't un-do the things i said to her and what she said to me. Should i continue to maintain silence and let her miss me and just maintain a professional relationship?
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