I live by the messages in this book! It's filled with short inpiring stories and theories of how to love your best. View 2 comments. May 16, Nathan Albright rated it it was ok Shelves: challenge. It is easy to see why someone who was in a rush to purchase books for a voracious reader would see this book and think it a likely one for me to enjoy.
When I was reading it in the break room this afternoon at work, I was asked if I was reading a romance novel, and I had to demur, since this is most definitely not a romance novel. Yet my coworker was onto something, in that this book is about romantic love, as well as love in other, more vague and general senses, and the person who bought this b It is easy to see why someone who was in a rush to purchase books for a voracious reader would see this book and think it a likely one for me to enjoy.
Yet my coworker was onto something, in that this book is about romantic love, as well as love in other, more vague and general senses, and the person who bought this book for me would have likely not purchased it had she read it more than a little before buying it in a rush. The reason for that is indicated quite plainly by the author himself, a former professor of a "love class" at the University of Southern California  where I attended my undergraduate studies, which coincidentally enough did not include this particular course, when he says: "Our goal, after all, is humanness, not godliness He was entirely right to undertake the task, albeit entirely wrongheaded in his approach, as he was aiming at the wrong goal.
The goal is godliness after all. The contents of this book read almost like a parody of New Age ruminations on love and the sort of quotes that appear on fortune cookies or page a day motivational calendars. Most of the book consists of short reflections by the author, often containing a family story or some sort of reference to Eastern religious thought and practice or Western philosophy, with a related quote by a famous person on the bottom of the page.
Some pages are filled with what the author believes to be encouraging quotes on lavender paper, like "Giving in as an important kind of giving when people love each other The Greeks famously had four words for love--storge for familial affection, eros for romantic love, phileo for friendship, and agape for self-sacrificial love, but the author's use of love is very vague, and mostly focuses on romantic love along with some comments about friendship and family .
The fact that the author nearly entirely ignores the Bible but quotes Lakota wisdom and a lot of references to Buddhism as well as a few to Taoism also suggests that this author is himself an amateur when dealing with love, since there are no references to 1 Corinthians 13 and only one very brief and superficial reference to the Golden Rule.
This level of ignorance and imprecision about love does not speak highly as to one's competence in dealing with the serious subject of love. Perhaps just as serious is the fact that the author is so wildly inconsistent and even paradoxical in his advice and counsel.
He cannot decide, for example, if fear is responsible for people saying no or if no is what gives definition to a yes. He cannot decide if self-esteem is the foundation of our ability to love others or if our natural egoism is too much of a barrier to loving and losing ourselves in others, but yet remaining two people growing independently as well as together.
You've just tried to add this video to My List. But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. You've just tried to add this show to My List. I took a shower, did my hair, put minimal makeup on every morning while I knew Sasoun was asleep — that made a world of difference.
She'd spend her mornings eating breakfast and listening in to the different groups of doctors as they rounded. From there, she braced herself for another day alone. Good job! Mentally, it was exhausting. She listened to music on the hospital-issued iPad, she did a little online shopping, and she watched the Winter Olympics in real time, which gave her something to talk about with nurses. And she binged TV shows. She watched all episodes of The Office, and the first time she remembered laughing out loud was in her second week of isolation during an episode of The Marvelous Mrs.
When that happened, she said, "I knew that it must be a really good show. That and video-chatting with Michael and Vaughn. She'd read him bedtime stories and say goodnight every evening. I didn't have the capacity to put on a brave face for everyone.
Because of Michael's medical background, he was the family's first line of defense in understanding the protocols and prognoses that were being put into place from the moment Sasoun was diagnosed.
One of the first bits of information he recalls getting — a text message from their immunologist — had nothing to do with his son. An extended period of time away from your spouse, combined with an intense level of anxiety, fear, and uncertainty, almost makes you forget what it's like to have your spouse next to you every day.
He did his best to share only what he thought she was emotionally equipped to handle, which meant he was often alone in fully understanding the stakes. In times like this, it doesn't make sense to create a divide. And although they had very few moments of connection in those three months, they tried to make those short, minute intervals count. But he certainly redeemed himself other times.
Like with the Roku, and on Valentine's Day. Six weeks into their hospital isolation, Sasoun underwent the transplant of Vaughn's cord blood, and the results were promising.
After several more weeks of testing, the medical team determined it was safe to bring him home as long as they maintained a similarly sterile quarantine environment.
For the next year, their home would become the bubble. In fact, on the walk to the car from the hospital, she felt the cool breeze on her face and realized she hadn't touched fresh air in three months. Caught up in the moment, she posed for a photo that reenacted a scene in Shawshank Redemption when Andy Dufresne escapes prison and stands, arms outstretched, in the rain. She recalls thinking how beautiful her house was — "it felt so ornate compared to stark hospital walls and medical equipment.
Aug 03, Sara Midura rated it it was amazing. Bruce Perry has written now two books that have changed my perspective on life. This book is riveting, terrifying, and inspiring all in one. A must-read. Aug 02, Portia rated it really liked it.
This is it--definitely my recommendation for the year. Seriously I could NOT stop thinking about all the great material in here and I wanted to talk about it with everyone I saw sorry if I was annoying. I still do. I'm going to buy and re-read this book, and see if I can get my husband to read selections as well. One downer-- it fades at the end. It took me 10 times longer to read the This is it--definitely my recommendation for the year.
It took me 10 times longer to read the last bit than all the previous chapters. I just kept dozing off or my mind wandered But the book didn't need it. Also, I realize that my facial expressions mean more than I thought, especially to my kids. Last downer--I found and read this book for a very particular reason, and it didn't answer my own personal problem at all. If anything, the very basic premise undermines my evaluation.
I would love love love to hear what Dr. Perry would say about my situation, but that's not the scope of this book, or any other I can find. Particularly and heartily recommended to -my mom but she already knows most of it -Mike -Alison? Nov 19, Zena Ryder rated it did not like it Shelves: abandoned. I really can't be bothered to read books that purport to be "scientific", but that don't provide proper notes and references.
An author could just make up any old crap or provide the spin they like best and if they don't give references for their claims, why should I believe them? I think it's great to write popular science books, but this shouldn't be at the expense of proper references. If it makes a book too long, they could be put online. Jul 29, Rori Rockman rated it it was ok. I have mixed feelings about this one.
It had some intriguing insights into how the human brain works, particularly in reference to the concept of mirror neurons and the idea that empathy is actually in part instinctual and part of human biology. But I think I went into the book with my expectations set too high. I had recently read Perry's first book, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook , and was impressed at how elegantly the author struck a balance between engaging stories and informative research.
Born for Love, in contrast, did not feel as cohesive. There were less stories to show how the research findings presented played out in real life. And you'd think if there were less stories, there would be more solid research in their place, but nope.
There was just more repetition. The book felt longer than it needed to be in places, and the concluding chapter was riddled with editorial mistakes. I'm still glad I read the book, just saying it absolutely was not up to par with the quality of his first book. Favorite quotes: "A region called the 'limbic system' surrounds the midbrain -- and this area is critically involved with relationships and emotion.
The most 'advanced' -- or at least uniquely human -- parts of the brain are the highest and outermost brain regions, those of the cortex, which allow language, abstract thought, and planning.
Importantly, the widely distributed architecture of the stress response network allows it to 'take over' any parts of the brain needed to respond to a threat, including the 'thinking' cortex. Also important to note is that these brain regions work in concert, so it is impossible to actually separate 'rational thought' from emotion. Even the most sophisticated decisions and analyses require positive or negative emotion; otherwise, it is impossible to determine which choice or idea is 'better' and which isn't.
Valuing anything -- even an idea -- as 'good' or 'bad' requires feeling. One reason people seem to respond instinctively with horror to malformed faces is because they imagine that having the defect is painful or that it must be unbearable to have others respond to you by flinching.
The distress that this produces in the viewer may be so intensely upsetting that they respond not by being kind or reaching out to the victim, but by avoidance. The emotions aroused by feeling deeply empathetic may actually sometimes prevent a genuinely kind and empathetic response! The southerners were also much more likely to support the use of violence when presented with a scenario in which another man hit on their fiancee.
And in the American South, there is a long history and tradition of defending one's honor through violence -- as well as an ongoing elevation in violent crime associated with insults and 'disrespect. Individuals who are always threatened cannot reason to their maximal capacity.
When needing to fight or flee, too much reflection is not a good thing, so shutting down the contemplative part of the brain makes good sense when experiencing fear. In fact, all of us do -- but these memories aren't conscious, simply foundational. They program our genes and our brains to face a particular type of world; they calibrate the degree to which we will take pleasure in relationships.
The risks for heart disease, stroke, depression, diabetes, asthma, and even many cancers are all affected by trauma-related changes in the stress response system. After all the underlining, bracketing and checkmarks, a red pen would have left the book looking like the scene of a disastrous accident!
I check marked many of the quotes from the famous and not-so-famous to add to my own quote database. Buscaglia included the words of others to support and expand his own thoughts. Goodreads is the world's largest site for readers with over 50 million reviews. We're featuring millions of their reader ratings on our book pages to help you find your new favourite book.
Close X. Learn about new offers and get more deals by joining our newsletter. Sign up now. Follow us.Jun 14, · Born For Love reminded me of facets I had forgotten. It brought lessons to the forefront that I have neglected in my busy days. The words soothed my heart. Dr. Buscaglia encouraged – and challenged – me to love more, to push my love boundaries and, most importantly, to teach love to everyone I meet.